The History of Waffles

ok, some crazy guy on Slashdot (offsite) posted this. Very, very strange.

5 1/4 inch waffle technology is long dead as these waffles never held more than 1.2M square crevices per waffle, though some still ate the old 360K squares per waffle waffles (made by the XTirons). Before that, waffles were single sided with 170K squares per waffle made by CommodoreIrons or 180K squares per waffle on the oldest PCIrons. Some people "notched" their waffles to use the other side, though intregrity of the squares they put on the backside wasn't guranteed. These 5 1/4 waffles were standard throughout the early 80s (the ancient 8 inch waffles [some, hard sectored, with actual pre-made holes (!) around the center spindle to tell the waffle iron where to line up the squares on the outer tracks] are now largely forgotten).

After the 5 1/4 waffles came the 3 1/2 inch waffles with 720K squares per waffle. These waffles were spun at constant angular velocity on the PS2Irons and later all PCIrons. On the MacWaffleIron (MWI), these waffles were spun at a variable speed to pack more suqares on the outer waffle area so they could hold 800K squares per waffle (400K for single sided waffles), though this caused problems when regular waffles were used in a MacWaffleIron... soon vendors came out with special MacWaffleIron certified waffles but it cost more. Speed was controlled by the audio DAC which explains why MacWaffleIrons can't play sounds when making waffles. Then 1.4M squares per waffle came about (spun at same speed everywhere), and some later waffle irons even supported 2.88M squares per waffle, but the waffles to go into these irons have never been seen by anyone. This was the end of open standard waffles than any restaurant or kitchen could make and sell.

The next generation waffle war was fought between the LS120 waffles and ZipWaffles. Squares per waffle capacity was roughly 100x that of earlier waffles, which was good. LS120 Irons could even do regular waffles too, unlike the ZipIrons, but the ZipIrons were cheaper and spread faster but are still not universal, so 1.4M waffle irons are still needed today in most kitchens.

If you really need to have lots of squares on your waffles there are specialty waffle Irons you can buy. JazWaffles (replacing the earlier SyWaffle44s, SyWaffle88s, SyWaffle105s, and SyWaffle230s, SyWaffle made too many versions, IMO), though WaffleOMega absorbed all these product lines. Stamped CDwaffles can hold 650MB of squares but for a long time could not be made at home. Then Philips came out with the first Waffle-R burners in 1990(?). They were $10,000-$20,000 when the Irons first came out, but got *much* cheaper as time went on. Holy wars errupted over what color waffles were better to use in them, gold, or the original green. [I prefer golden waffles myself]. Waffbatim even came out with some Blue waffles to add to the quagmire. Later came Waffle-RW which could be put back in the iron and remade up to 1000 times, but not everyone can digest these waffles, though this is far less of a problem today as when waffle-rw was new.

In the quest for ever more squares per waffle has come the DVWaffle. The squares can be single layered or even dual layered (double sided too, though these are rare and difficult to produce, so few restaurants make them). Like CDWaffle, these can't be made at home. DVWaffle also allows for encrypted squares on their surface, and waffles made in one part of the world cannot be eaten in another part of the world. This is supposed to be helpful to local waffle distributors worldwide but is really just a big pain in the butt. Fortunately some Norweigian waffle makers cracked the encrypted Waffle squares by reverse engineering the XingIron (which failed to keep secret its inner workings). Waffle Lawyers cracked down on him and the WWWaffle sites deistributing the cracked waffle recipe, but as they say, the genie is out of the bottle. This is rumored to be holding up the DVWaffle audio standard, and why Geouge Lucas won't release any Star Wars Waffles until later, if ever.

For those wanting to make their own waffles, DVWaffle-RW, DVWaffle+RW, and DVWaffle-R are currently vying to become the standard for the home DVWaffle making market. The DVWaffle-Rs made by Pioneer have the advantage of working on regular DVWaffle players, but are WORM waffles like CDWaffle-R and the DVWaffle-R Irons cost upwards of $15,000. Only time will tell what waffle format will emerge victorious.

Yes, folks, it's an interesting era for waffles!

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